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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082659">It's a Brand New Day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadkittiehours/pseuds/sadkittiehours'>sadkittiehours</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bandom, Panic! at the Disco</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Play, Age Play Little Brendon Urie, Cabin Era, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:26:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadkittiehours/pseuds/sadkittiehours</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Stop it," he says, and Brendon just makes his chewing more obnoxious until Jon scowls. "You need a spanking?" he asks softly, and Brendon shakes his head, eyes wide, and goes back to eating with his mouth shut. Spencer makes a face at the scene and turns to Ryan with a question on his face.  </p><p>"Hey, I don't know, okay? I asked Jon, when we were in Brendon's room getting his clothes." He frowns as he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "He said something about Brendon needing this or something. I don't really know. He wasn't really explaining anything." Ryan shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets--being the only person in the cabin to currently dress himself properly even at eight o'clock in the morning. Spencer turns back to Jon and Brendon.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Ross/Spencer Smith/Brendon Urie/Jon Walker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's a Brand New Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this fic was taken off the <a href="https://fobfics.tumblr.com/post/34177428707/okubyokitsunes-big-goddamn-masterlistpdf/"> Big God Damn Masterlist</a> you can use that link to download the pdf of almost 500 pages of bandom fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When they're at the cabin, it becomes this thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As far as Spencer can tell, it probably starts when Brendon wakes up one day and decides to make a mess with paint--where the fuck did he get paint?--in the rec room, and Ryan yells at him about it. Brendon's bottom lip wobbles and he yells that he's a big boy, and can do what he wants before stomping to his room. He slams the door shut, and Ryan looks at Spencer, confused. Spencer really has no clue.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night, Brendon refuses to eat his vegetables, even though they all know he loves them. He pokes them around his plate and says "icky" and Spencer makes a face, clueless as to what's going on. No matter how he acts sometimes, Brendon's not really five years old.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon's eyes go wide and he asks, "May I have some ice cream?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon glowers in response. "After you finish your food." Brendon pouts, but Jon doesn't let up. Spencer is pretty baffled, but Jon seems to know he's doing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Brendon does eat his food, only, as soon as it's down, he runs to the bathroom and throws up. As soon as he sits back, he starts to cry, snot running down his nose and face getting blotchy. No one is inherently attractive when they cry, but it's like he's trying to make himself look wretched while he does it. Spencer has seen Brendon cry before. Not often, but he has, and Brendon usually tries to be as unobtrusive about it as possible. Now, he's being as loud as he possibly can be. It makes Spencer almost dizzy. Standing in the doorway, Jon puts his fists on his hips and glares at Brendon sternly. "Go to bed, young man," he says, voice soft, but firm. "You're being disobedient." Brendon just cries harder, fists beating against the tile in a small fit.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By now, Ryan is looking ready to throw a fit of his own, and he has a confused look in his eyes Spencer hasn't seen in awhile. "Jon, what?" Ryan asks softly, hand latching onto Spencer's as Brendon starts to rock on the ground. "Maybe we should help him?"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon spares them a look for only a moment. "Do you want to be grounded?" he asks, and to their surprise, Brendon shuts up quick and shakes his head, face still snotty and red. "Then go to your room. It's bedtime."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon gets up and slinks away, obvious pout on his face, but Jon ignores it. He flushes the toilet and runs a hand through his hair while Brendon's door bangs shut. Ryan stares at Jon, eyes wide.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the fuck was that?" Spencer demands quietly, pointing at Brendon's closed door. Jon sighs again, looking tired for some reason.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If he's going to act like a child, then I'm going to treat him like one," is all he says, like it's that simple, their lead singer throwing a fucking tantrum on the bathroom floor like a five-year-old. Spencer doesn't think it's enough of an explanation, and he is about to demand more when they hear a crashing sound from Brendon's bedroom. Jon looks at the closed door and shakes his head, voice rising. "If I have to go in there, you're not going to like it." The noise stops.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan gets a weird look, his thinking face, Spencer knows. He goes back to his room, and Spencer can guess that he's probably going to take a while to contemplate what happened, and what his reaction towards it should be. Spencer goes back to the kitchen to clean up, Jon following him. He doesn't look at Spencer when he says, "Pick out breakfast tomorrow, huh? Something healthy." Spencer stares at him for a long time, but when Jon doesn't look at him, he just nods.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jon eventually goes into Brendon's room, and Spencer hangs around the doorway to see what's going on. Brendon is demanding a bedtime story, and Jon obliges for some reason. It's not the first time Brendon's asked for one, but it is the first time he's gotten it. Usually Jon makes something up before blowing Brendon or something, but now he looks seriously at the wall for a few minutes before launching into Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he's done, Brendon is looking sleepy, eyes half-lidded as Jon pulls the covers up to his chin and presses a kiss to his forehead. He gets up from the bed, but Brendon's hand shoots out and grabs onto his. "Need a light," he whispers, and Jon frowns. "Please leave the door open?" "If I leave the door open, it'll be too loud, and you'll never get to sleep," Jon explains. Brendon bites his lip, eyes gathering a hint of sheen, like he's going to cry again, but maybe for real this time. Spencer runs a hand through his own hair, sighing. "Just leave the door open. We'll keep the television down."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon looks up at him, surprised to see him there, and Brendon smiles a bit, which makes Spencer's resolve harden. He's not exactly sure at all what's going on, but that's okay. He doesn't have to know right now. Jon tucks the blanket up to Brendon's chin and pats him on the head, and leaves the door open a crack when they leave. Brendon doesn't complain when the light goes off; he curls under his blankets and closes his eyes, content.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon and Spencer go back out to the living room to watch late night television shows. Somewhere between one episode of The Cosby Show and the next, Ryan joins them, curling up between them on the couch and using them both as pillows for his skinny, angular frame. Spencer would complain, but it's the time of night where he doesn't really want to sleep, but doesn't really want to talk, either.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Near the end of one of the seemingly endless Cosby Shows, Brendon shuffles in, rubbing his eyes. He looks like he really has slept a bit, but his eyes are red-rimmed and he's sniffling.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I had a nightmare," he says softly, and Spencer knows he's telling the truth. Brendon has nightmares, occasionally, but he rarely ever tells them about it. He usually just puts on a smile and says nightmares are for kids, and he wasn't tired anyways.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan takes pity on him and says, "come here," softly, patting his lap. Brendon curls up and Ryan strokes his back while they watch the television. Spencer is momentarily surprised by the display of affection from Ryan, but he shouldn't be. He knows that one of the things Ryan understands better than most people is nightmares; he usually climbs in with Spencer after he's had one. Years of habit haven't been broken by touring in a bus. Spencer understands Ryan's need to give and receive comfort after nightmares.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon falls right asleep after a few minutes, and Spencer watches with a fond smile as Ryan looks to Jon and asks what he's supposed to do now. Jon gives a speculative look and Spencer shrugs. Spencer gets up, careful not to jostle them too much, and lifts Brendon up with a soft grunt. He's a tiny fucker, but he weighs a lot when he's dead weight. Spencer puts him back to sleep in his own bed, tucking the covers under his chin to keep him warm. He strokes Brendon's forehead once, pushing the hair behind his ear with a small smile.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's not exactly sure what's going on with Brendon, right now, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love him. Maybe it's just a phase, or he was teasing them or something. Spencer doesn't fucking know. He remembers Brendon getting a call from his parents a few days past, and Brendon being sort of quiet and withdrawn afterward, maybe this had something to do with that. Brendon usually did stupid shit when he was upset, so was this really much different?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he looks up, Jon is standing in the doorway, staring at him softly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" he asks, defensive. Jon grins and shrugs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing, c'mon. We're sleeping in my room." Jon tugs on Spencer's hand and Spencer follows willingly, not really minding. He's all for sharing a bed with Jon and Ryan. Sure, they generally spent the night with each other, but it'd been a long time since he'd just been with Jon and Ryan. Not that he wanted to exclude Brendon or anything, but this was a relationship, not just fucking. He sort of missed the rest of his boyfriends, as lame as that sounds.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they reach the bedroom, Jon eagerly helps Spencer shed his clothing, and they kiss for a while, naked and pressed against one another, but it doesn't really go any further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer's exhausted, and Jon seems to be in the same shape. Ryan's lying in bed, reading with the bedside table light on, completely ignoring them until Jon pries his book out of his hands and presses a kiss to his nose. Ryan rolls his eyes, muttering something about romantic saps, but let’s both of them take his clothes off. He wraps himself in Spencer's embrace, putting a hand over the one Jon leaves on his hip when he spoons behind him. Spencer knows Ryan secretly loves being in the middle.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels like maybe two minutes later--even if the clock happily tells him it's been two hours--that there's someone poking him in the side. Spencer makes an unhappy noise and looks over to see Brendon, standing at the side of the bed, a blanket in his hands and heartbroken expression on his face. "Can't sleep," he mumbles, and looks at them almost desperately. "Please?" Spencer can't ever say no to that face, so he lifts the blanket and Brendon scrambles in, happily wrapping himself around Spencer.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer lets Brendon nuzzle into his neck, and smiles fondly when he falls asleep. Spencer feels someone looking at him and he looks over his shoulder and sees Jon staring at him, brow raised.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you do that too much, he'll get spoiled," he says, and Spencer frowns, grip tightening. So what if he spoils Brendon a little bit. He's allowed to, damn it. Jon rolls his eyes and huffs, curling around a dead-to-the-world Ryan. Ryan only snorts a little and shifts, but doesn't wake up. Spencer rolls his eyes back before burying his nose in Brendon's hair and drifting back to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few hours later, Spencer is woken up yet again by someone poking him in the side, this time right under his ribs. His breath hitches and he fumbles around, grabbing Brendon's fingers in a sleep-lazy grip. "Stop it," he grumbles, and Brendon giggles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Time to get up, silly," he says, not even softly, and Spencer hears Ryan start to flail behind him, making unhappy-to-be-awake noises. Jon is looking at him again, probably. Spencer can feel it, but he refuses to look. Fuck, it was too early. "Breakfast time, breakfast time. And Cartoons!" Brendon says, using his free hand to poke Spencer until he cracks an eye open and glares at him. Brendon just smiles. "Up, up." Spencer sighs, feeling the last remnants of sleep floating happily away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks over at Jon, brows raised. Jon frowns softly. "You get the food, I'll get the clothes." Ryan is still refusing to accept defeat. Jon shakes him, and Ryan's eyes fly open, promising death to whoever is touching him, and drags him to Brendon's room, even though he's not even half awake.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer sighs again and lets his eyes close for five seconds before Brendon pokes him again. "Get up, up, please? I'm hungry." Grumbling, Spencer gets up. "Well, if you'd eaten your food without a fuss last night, maybe you wouldn't be so hungry," he snipes back, and Brendon maybe looks guilty for a few seconds before shrugging.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Food now, please."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets up, not really happy to be doing so at, as the clock cheerily informs him, seven o'clock on a weekend morning. He's pretty sure that's a crime when you're in your twenties. He pauses to pull on some sweatpants, since he doesn't really want to eat breakfast in the nude, and Brendon makes a face at him, but grabs his hand when they walk out of the room. He doesn't lace their fingers, like he usually does; just cups their palms together and swings their arms and drags Spencer into the kitchen.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer gets out a bowl and whatever sugar coma cereal Brendon made them buy this week. "He's not allowed to have that," Jon says, coming into the kitchen. Brendon's excited, hopeful face falls and he pouts. "Healthy food only," Jon chides, ruffling Brendon's hair. Spencer stares at him for a second before going to the fridge and getting out eggs. Eggs and toast are healthy, he guesses. Ryan finally shuffles into the kitchen, much like a zombie, heading towards the coffee machine with grabby hands. It's automatic, thankfully, and already has a full pot. Ryan practically inhales his first cup, and Brendon looks at it hopefully. Jon shakes his head. "Nope, none of that either. Milk or water."   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon pouts again and says, "milk" grudgingly. Ryan goes to pour him a cup while Spencer manhandles the stove into giving him what he wants. Jon sits down at the table next to Brendon and threads his fingers through his hair, petting him absentmindedly. Brendon's eyes go half lidded and he leans closer, pout slipping away. Spencer thinks it's really adorable, when he looks back at them. Something normal, finally, Jon petting Brendon into submission.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are some clean plates in the cabinet still, but they'll have to run the dishwasher soon. Spencer loads bread into the six-slot toaster and waits patiently for the eggs to finish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They're scrambled, because he wasn't about to put a lot of effort into any meal before noon on a weekend. He loads egg onto the first piece of toast that pops up and brings it over to Brendon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frowning, Brendon says, "can you cut it into shapes? Shapes taste better."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer frowns right back and gets a knife from the drawer so he can cut the toast into triangles. "Better?" Brendon shrugs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon tugs on his hair a little and Brendon makes big eyes at him. "Ouch."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Be polite. Thank Spencer for making your breakfast."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon scowls at his plate. "Thanks Spence," he says, grumbling a bit. Spencer shrugs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, okay," he says before going to the coffee maker and pouring himself a cup. Ryan gives him a look and Spencer rolls his eyes, pulling him from the room to talk to him in the living room. He leads Ryan out, but looks over at Brendon and Jon, who's frowning at the way Brendon's eating with his mouth open.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop it," he says, and Brendon just makes his chewing more obnoxious until Jon scowls. "You need a spanking?" he asks softly, and Brendon shakes his head, eyes wide, and goes back to eating with his mouth shut. Spencer makes a face at the scene and turns to Ryan with a question on his face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, I don't know, okay? I asked Jon, when we were in Brendon's room getting his clothes." He frowns as he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "He said something about Brendon needing this or something. I don't really know. He wasn't really explaining anything." Ryan shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets--being the only person in the cabin to currently dress himself properly even at eight o'clock in the morning. Spencer turns back to Jon and Brendon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're going to take a bath now, okay?" Jon asks, picking up Brendon's plate and Spencer and Ryan's mess from the table and bringing it over to the sink. Brendon has a lot more of his food on him than in him, and Spencer rolls his eyes. It's not that different from how it usually is. Brendon nods and grins. "Bath!"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon smiles at him quickly before looking at Spencer. "Can you go ahead and get that ready for him? I'll get him undressed in his room." Spencer nods and watches as Jon leads Brendon to his bedroom. He turns to Ryan.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You get to clean up the kitchen, since we're cleaning up Brendon."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan just shrugs, taking one hand out of his pocket to look at the nails idly. "I'd rather do that, anyways."   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer walks back to the bathroom and turns the spout on. He's not sure what temperature he's supposed to put it at, so he just settles for medium warmth and rummages around in the cabinets for some bubble bath. The only thing he can find is some of Ryan's expensive bubble bath mix, but he shrugs and pours it into the bathwater anyways. Ryan probably won't even notice.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A naked Brendon streaks by him and practically dives into the bathtub, sending water over the rim of the basin. Spencer is so glad he's not wearing shoes--he's not sure whether or not he'd be able to keep himself from killing Brendon if he'd ruined a nice pair of Spencer's shoes. Hell, any pair of Spencer's shoes. Brendon just grins at him, resting his arms on the lip of the tub.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon ambles in and grins at them, hands tucked under his armpits. Brendon smiles back and throws up his arms for a hug, but Jon just quirks a brow at him. "I'm not hugging you while you're all wet. You'll get me wet too, don't think I'm not on to you." Brendon pouts at him, but Jon doesn't give in.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time the tub is half-way filled and the bathroom is sufficiently steamy and muggy, Ryan is back in the bathroom, sitting on the countertop of the sink. He gives Spencer a look when he sees the bubbles floating on top of the water, and Spencer just shrugs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's all we had."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon nods again. "Yeah, we'll have to go get Mr. Bubble or something. Something more appropriate, less mid-forties soccer mom. Maybe some bath toys." He ignores Ryan's indignant yelp.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon looks pretty content to just splash around and pretend to be swimming and diving, mumbling to himself and humming tunelessly under his breath. Spencer didn't really know he could actually do anything tunelessly. He watches from beside the tub, sitting down amongst the puddles to make himself more comfortable. Brendon looks up at him from time to time to smile a bit, and Spencer smiles back. After a while, Jon hands him a bottle of shampoo.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Spencer says, getting Brendon's attention. "Time to wash your hair. Dunk under the water for me?" he asks, holding up the bottle. Brendon makes a face but dunks his head under, getting his hair thoroughly wet. Spencer squirts the shampoo out on his head, threading his fingers through to wash. Brendon leans against the tub edge, eyes half-lidded as Spencer works. Ryan snorts at the sight, but Spencer carefully ignores him. It's not like Ryan doesn't go boneless when his back is rubbed. Once he's done, he taps Brendon's head again and Brendon sucks in a breath before dunking under the water to wash it out again.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer stands up, wincing when his back cracks. Jon has a washcloth in his hand and Spencer motions at Brendon in a 'have at it' motion. He goes to stand with Ryan, standing in the V of his legs as he watches Jon. Ryan wraps his legs around Spencer's hips, arms going around his neck. Spencer is used to Ryan's need to wrap his limbs around him, so he just settles in more comfortably against the sink.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon gets on his knees beside the tub and Spencer winces in sympathy. The tile isn't very forgiving, but Jon doesn't seem to notice. He dunks the washcloth under the water, getting it wet before squirting liquid soap onto it. That he rubs first against Brendon's face, leaving no place un-scrubbed. Brendon allows it all, lifting limbs when Jon requests them, but largely not paying attention at all, eyes wandering around the bathroom.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes snap to Jon, however, when Jon's hand disappears beneath the water. A flush rapidly spreads across his cheeks, and his eyes get glossy. Spencer sits up straight, watching warily as Brendon slumps against the tub edge. He makes a small noise and Spencer moves to do something, but Ryan holds him back. Brendon eyes Jon, biting his bottom lip, squirming in the tub enough to make the water slosh against the side. Jon quirks his head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay. You can, it's okay," he says, voice oddly soft. Spencer goes onto the tips of his toes so he can see over the edge of the tub while Ryan hangs over his shoulders to watch, breathing hard enough to send goose bumps rise along his neck.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer watches while Jon cups his hand under the washcloth, but doesn't move it. Brendon stares at him for a long time, chewing on his bottom lip before moving, hesitantly. He keeps his eyes locked onto Jon's face while he moves his hips slightly, soft noise escaping his lips. He licks his bottom lip, Spencer's eyes following the movement. Jon makes an encouraging noise, but doesn't move his hand, and Spencer can see the muscles in his arms tense from keeping still. The flush spreads from Brendon's cheeks down his neck and chest, and his eyes flutter shut as he bites down hard on his bottom lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His movements aren't anything like Spencer is used to seeing; no sharp, lithe rollings of his hips. The jerks are hesitant and messy. Ryan is breathing deeply in Spencer's ear, chin digging into his shoulder while he watches, and Spencer can't help but shiver slightly by the soft exhalations.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon's hips stutter one last time and he lets out a soft noise as his face goes slack. It's not the usual face he makes when he comes, but Spencer still knows what it means. Jon takes his hand from the bathtub after unplugging the stopper, and Brendon slumps against the tub again. "Time to get out. There are clothes on your bed. Think you can get into them by yourself?" Jon asks, picking up the fluffy towel Spencer had left on the toilet lid for Brendon. Brendon nods, eyes still a little glazed, face still flushed. Jon wraps him in the towel, rubbing him down with it before sending him off towards his room.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as he's gone, Spencer slumps into Ryan's embrace and sighs, closing his eyes. Ryan's hands wander down Spencer's chest and he makes an appreciative noise. Spencer opens his eyes in time to see Jon smile at him before pressing against him, from shoulder to pelvis.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer doesn't really realize he's hard until he feels Jon pressed against his hip and Ryan pressed against his ass."This is going to be different, isn't it?" he asks softly. Jon huffs out a little laugh, shifting to line them up so when he moves his hips, Spencer can feel him perfectly. He makes a soft noise and presses right back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, hey," Ryan says unhappily, hand going from Spencer's chest to his groin, squeezing. Spencer groans, head falling to Jon's shoulder as his hips rub up into Ryan's grip. Jon makes a noise as the back of Ryan's knuckles graze his own erection when Ryan moves his hand.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck, Jesus Christ," Spencer grits out, clenching his eyes shut. Jon keeps rubbing against him while Ryan's hand works from the outside of his pants. After Brendon's display, it doesn't take long for Spencer to feel the heat traveling down his hips and flooding his pelvis. He comes with a cry, head thrown back to Ryan's shoulder. Ryan chuckles in his ear but Jon lets out a small noise and Spencer knows that he's just come in his pants too. "God damn it," he mumbles, pushing Jon away from himself and stepping out of Ryan's embrace. "C'mon, really? In my pants?" He picks at his sweatpants, frowning in distaste at the wet fabric.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan grins at him when Spencer turns to glare. "Some of us can keep a little dignity," he says, still clearly hard. Spencer rolls his eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can take care of that yourself, then," he says, going out of the bathroom to get changed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spencer comes out into the living room after listening to Ryan play something for him that he'd been very excited about. Brendon is on his stomach on the floor, legs kicking in the air as he draws on white computer paper with coloured pencils. Spencer isn't really sure where they came from, but they're probably Ryan's. Jon is sitting in the recliner, feet kicked up, watching Brendon draw with a sedate smile. The smile remains when he looks up at Spencer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling back, Spencer goes to the couch and flops down. He’s pretty tired, and a nap is looking really good right about now. Brendon's head pokes up from the floor and he gives Spencer a giant smile.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Spence! For you!" He climbs onto the couch and waves the piece of paper he was drawing on in Spencer's face. It's hard to see what it is with Brendon trying to climb onto him as well. When he finally gets the paper from him, he sees that it's a lot of brown blobs with lines and stumps. He's not really sure what it is.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um, thanks, Bren," he says carefully, not wanting to say anything that could potentially send Brendon into a fit. Brendon's grin doesn't waver.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Puppies, Spence. Puppies." Spencer holds the paper out from his body, studying it. He can't really see puppies, but after years of taking care of the twins and looking at their particular brand of art, it very well could be puppies.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you very much for drawing me puppies, Bren," he says, patting Brendon on the head. Brendon smiles and pushes his face into Spencer's neck, sighing heavily with his whole body. Spencer pats his back, running his fingers up and down against the soft fabric of his shirt. Brendon lets out another sigh and shifts forward, plastering himself to Spencer's front.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few seconds of rubbing Brendon's back, Spencer realizes that Brendon is nuzzling into his neck steadily. Spencer is a little embarrassed to note that it's having its usual effect on him, and he shifts uneasily. He feels a little nip at his neck, and he pushes Brendon back. "Hey, stop that," he says warningly. Brendon just grins at him and leans forward, nipping at Spencer's neck harder. Spencer glares and he hears Jon clear his throat.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Brendon," he says softly. Brendon looks up from Spencer and makes a face at Jon. "Stop it." His voice is clear with warning, but Brendon just leans forward, mouth open to bite Spencer's neck again. Jon quirks a brow. "You do it again, see what happens," Jon says quietly. Brendon stares at him for a few beats before closing his mouth, and burying his face in Spencer's shoulder. Spencer pets his back hesitantly, unsure if he's going to cause any other issues, but Brendon seems content to just be pet.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer yawns, smiling when Brendon echoes the sentiment. He shuts his eyes, ready for that nap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Spencer wakes up, he's alone, and the sun is sending an orange glow through the window. It has to be almost evening. He yawns, stretching to get the kinks out of his shoulders. He really does hate falling asleep on the couch; it always puts his joints into knots. While he's scratching his beard, the door opens and Brendon rushes through the room to his own bedroom. Jon follows at a much more sedate pace, shutting the door behind himself and flopping onto the armchair again. He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We went on a walk to get his energy out," he says, sounding tired. "It didn't really work, as you can see," he grumbles, motioning towards Brendon's shut door. Spencer grins at him while Ryan ambles out of his room, hair in disarray. He was probably napping, as well, and woke up when Brendon slammed his door shut. Ryan throws himself onto the couch, pawing at Spencer's arm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"C'mere," he mumbles, hooking his fingers in Spencer's shirt and pulling. Rolling his eyes, Spencer complies, moving onto Ryan's lap. Ryan makes a happy noise when Spencer situates himself. He leans forward and nips over the spot Brendon was biting earlier, and Spencer sighs, tipping his head to the side for easier access. "Take these off," he mumbles, fingering Spencer's clean sweatpants. Spencer doesn't have to move to know Ryan is hard and he rolls his eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really? Here?"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, come on. Just take them off." Ryan tugs on the pants again and Spencer sighs, squirming out of his sweatpants. Ryan presses a grin to the back of Spencer's neck. "You don't mind, do you?" he asks, directing the question to Jon. Jon gives him a look.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like I'd really object," he says, rolling his eyes. Jon moves around on the armchair, legs falling open. Spencer lifts up when Ryan taps on his hip to move his own sweatpants. The only real good thing about the cabin, so far, is the fact that everyone can wear sweatpants all day every day. Makes for even more convenient sex.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer swats at Ryan's leg when he tries to shift right in. "You have to prepare me, jackass. I'm not a girl. For fuck's sake."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Picky, picky," Ryan grumbles, searching through the couch cushions for the lube Brendon had stored in there the first day after moving in. Ryan had complained at the time. He slicks two fingers up and trails them over Spencer's thigh and Spencer shakes his head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Three, asshole. Your giant dick needs a three finger prep." He hands the lube back to Ryan while Ryan rolls his eyes.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You take all the fun and spontaneity out of life, you know that?"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, well, when you take your cock after just two fingers, I'll let you do whatever you want." Ryan slicks three fingers and Spencer lifts his leg so Ryan can move them into position. He looks over at Jon as Ryan slides the first finger in, and Jon's laughing a little to himself. "You two are really romantic, you know that?"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck you," Spencer says, biting back a moan when Ryan slides in the second finger. Ryan doesn't really wait very long before sliding the next finger in, crooking them and brushing against his prostate. Spencer sucks in a breath, shifting in Ryan's lap, on his fingers. He doesn't get fucked often, but it's sort of nice.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, c'mon, I wanna fuck you," Ryan snipes, taking his finger out and wiping them on Spencer's pants. Spencer twists his head to glare at Ryan.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Way to fucking set the mood." He moves up, however, letting Ryan line himself up before sinking down on him slowly, trying to adjust. Ryan gets impatient and thrusts his hips up, drawing out a hiss from Spencer. "Fuck, fuck, Jesus, Ryan." Since he's heavier than Ryan, he can just use his weight to keep Ryan from thrusting up. "Jesus, fuck, does your cock grow every day? What do you feed it?" he spits out, circling his hips to adjust. Ryan's fey physique hides the biggest cock Spencer's ever seen, which doesn't seem very fair. And it's been giant for forever. Looking up, he sees Jon still laughing at them. Spencer is secure in his relationship; he doesn't mind laughter during sex. He's glad they're so comfortable with one another. Jon smiles when Spencer circles his hips again and Ryan lets his head fall back against the sofa back with a groan. Spencer smiles in triumph, moving his hips up to let Ryan slide out just a little before seating himself fully back in his lap again. The angle makes him bite his lip.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A noise at the entrance to the living room makes Spencer look up as he shifts over Ryan's lap. Brendon is standing there, holding onto the doorframe, staring at them with wide eyes. He looks over at Jon quickly and edges a little bit into the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon notices and smiles at him, patting his lap. "Hey, come here." Brendon hesitates only long enough for Spencer to take another stroke of his hips while Ryan moans. He scampers into the room and launches himself onto Jon's lap, earning himself a little, "oof". Jon wraps his arms around Brendon's waist, looking over Brendon's shoulder to watch them.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With their audience, Spencer feels maybe he should put on a performance. He moves Ryan's hands so that they're anchored at his waist, and he uses his thighs to lift up over Ryan's lap before grinding down, circling his hips. Ryan happily lets him do all the work, eyes closed, head thrown back. Spencer would hit him if he wasn't enjoying himself so much. The angle Ryan's cock is at causes him to rub against his prostate with every movement. He can feel his orgasm building with the low heat in his belly.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon is sitting on the edge of Jon's lap, watching with wide eyes. He leans back against Jon's chest and looks up at him with wide eyes. "Can I help?" he asks shyly, voice soft. Jon pets his head. "Of course," he says, pushing on his back to move him off of his lap. Brendon walks over to them, staring with wide eyes. He gets onto his knees on the floor in front of Spencer's legs, hands going to both of his thighs. Brendon leans down and rubs his cheek against Spencer's calf. He lets one hand move from Spencer's thigh to his cock, just touching the base lightly, with no rhythm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer can feel himself slipping over the edge as soon as Brendon looks down at his cock, seemingly fascinated. He opens his mouth to warn him away, but Ryan grabs his hair and twists his head, pressing his mouth to his almost violently. Spencer has no time to warn Brendon and he ends up coming all over Brendon's face, tightening around Ryan with a groan. He twitches once, still in Brendon's hand, when he sees Brendon touching his face and inspecting the come. Spencer rolls his hips, and Ryan bites his lip as he comes, hot and deep inside Spencer. Brendon looks at Ryan as he comes, then turns to Jon and holds up his hands.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're messy," Jon says. "Clean up." Brendon looks at his hands again before bringing them to his face and licking them, using his fingers to get the come on his face. Spencer could probably get it up again from that. "Come here," Jon says again, but his voice is deeper this time. Brendon pads over to Jon and Spencer can see that he's hard, even though his post-orgasmic bliss. He gets off of Ryan and pulls his sweatpants back on, so he won't mess the couch. Ryan tries to pull him in for cuddling while Brendon climbs onto Jon's lap again, back to his chest.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He squirms a bit to get comfortable. Jon and he look back at Spencer and Ryan, and Brendon smiles. It's not until he starts to flush again that Spencer realizes that Jon is lazily thrusting up, rubbing his clothed dick against Brendon's ass. Fuck, Spencer wishes there was less fabric. Brendon tries to squirm around, but Jon puts a hand on his waist to keep him still. Jon gets a look of concentration on his face, and Spencer watches, amazed. It's not like they've never rubbed off on each other, but it's different now. Brendon looks almost pained, and Spencer wonders if Jon is going to take care of him again.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's surprisingly hot," Ryan whispers into Spencer's ear, and Spencer has to agree. Jon's thrusts start to speed up and get a little harder and it bounces Brendon a little. Spencer knows Jon comes because his face scrunches up for a moment before smoothing out. Spencer scrunches his nose at the thought of Jon messing his pants twice today. It was going to be a bitch to clean.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon looks stricken for half a second before he leans back into Jon's chest. Jon doesn't look like he's going to do anything about Brendon's hard on and Spencer has been doing everything from Jon's cues, so he doesn't move to help either. Ryan presses into him harder and Brendon goes basically ignored. Brendon bites his lip, but doesn't ask.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon lifts a hand lazily and Spencer thinks he's going to take care of Brendon for a second, but he just rests it on the back of Brendon's neck and starts to rub. Brendon makes a small noise at that and his eyes go half-lidded. Everyone knows how much he loves being pet, and he's not ashamed to show it. Jon leans forward so that he can talk directly into Brendon's ear.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Such a good boy, Bren," he murmurs, and Spencer can just hear him. Brendon makes another noise. "So good Bren." He continues to rub. Spencer watches, surprised when the flush comes back full-fledged and Brendon squirms. Jon makes a face at that, obviously still sensitive, but doesn't move him. "You've been such a good boy, so helpful. You helped Spencer and Ryan and cleaned up just like I asked. So good, baby." Brendon makes a high-pitched noise in the back of his throat while Jon's fingers stroke his neck.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon had never used the word "baby" for them, and Spencer didn't know it was something for Brendon. He is vaguely unsure as to whether or not this is right, but he is interrupted in his thoughts by Brendon making a soft noise and slumping back onto Jon, panting. Spencer can see the wet spot on the front of his shorts, Jesus.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're all messy again," Jon says lightly, hand moving to rub at Brendon's chest.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon looks back at him with half-lidded eyes. "Bath?" he asks hopefully. Jon shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll just find something else for you to wear." Brendon looks like he's going to object, but he just nods instead and gets off of Jon's lap. Jon grabs his hand and leads him back to his room.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan turns to Spencer. "There's nothing wrong with this, is there? Because that was fucking hot." He waves a hand at the recliner. Spencer just shrugs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jon finds a nightlight in one of the cabinets in the kitchen--which, what the hell?--that the previous residents left behind. It's weird, when Spencer thinks about it; that there were other people living in the cabin before they got there. And that there would be other people after them. Jon sticks it in Brendon's bedroom and Brendon spends about ten minutes sitting in front of it, poking it and making shadow puppets on the opposite wall when Jon turns the light out for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan insists on reading him a bedtime story before bed because Brendon needs to be stimulated, even in dreams. Or so Ryan says. Brendon probably isn't paying attention though--especially when he's fussing with his blankets and pillows and yawning cutely every five seconds or so. It doesn't help that Ryan is reading to him from what looks like a Chuck Palahniuk book.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer mentally adds "books for bedtime" to his ever-expanding list of "things Brendon needs that we don't have in the cabin" for the next time they go grocery shopping. They usually have, like, dollar stores next to grocery stores or something. They'll find it somewhere. Jon says he'll go with him on their next run, while Ryan amuses Brendon for the afternoon. Spencer knows he and Jon will have to sneak out. He doesn't want to deal with an upset Brendon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that's for another day. For now, as soon as Brendon closes his eyes, Ryan closes his book and stares at him for a few seconds. Spencer firmly believes Ryan has the best "put you to sleep" voice. It worked on Spencer as a kid as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan reaches out and pushes a strand of hair off of Brendon's face and Spencer smiles fondly. He feels arms wrap around his waist, and he leans back into Jon's embrace, pressing his head to Jon's when Jon hooks his chin over Spencer's shoulder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bedtime for us as well," Jon murmurs, arms tightening around Spencer for a brief second before he lets go and just grabs Spencer's hand. Ryan stands up and puts his book on the top shelf above Brendon's dresser, where he knows Brendon can't reach.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My room," he says softly, heading towards the door and clicking the light off. The room is illuminated with a soft orange light and it makes shadows flicker across Brendon's face; makes him look younger. Jon smiles at Ryan.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why not mine?"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan rolls his eyes. "Because mine is the master, and the bed's bigger.” He doesn't have to look at Brendon for them to know what he means.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan's room is just as much of a disaster as it always is; clothes and guitar accessories and notebooks and pens and the like scattered everywhere, but the familiarity of it makes Spencer smile. They pile their clothes next to the bed and climb in, Spencer's back pressed to Jon's chest, front pressed to Ryan's back. It's missing something, of course--Brendon demanding to be in the middle, even though there's no room to squish between Jon and Spencer or Spencer and Ryan. Jon nuzzles the back of his neck, and it doesn't take long for Spencer to fade off into sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only reason Spencer wakes up, however much later it is after he fell asleep, is because the back of his neck is cold. That's not normal, since Jon is like a living furnace when he sleeps, and the blanket is tucked to the bottom of the bed from Ryan's movements. He doesn't open his eyes, but he listens to what's going on behind him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You've got to sleep in your own bed, Bren. That's how this goes." Jon's voice is soft and sleep heavy, but firm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can't. Can't sleep." Brendon, on the other hand, sounds like he's crying. Spencer can clearly hear him sniffling. Spencer's heart clenches, because he knows Brendon can't sleep on his own. It's a miracle he even fell asleep without them in bed with him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This can't be a habit, Bren," Jon says.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let him in," Spencer interrupts, voice cracking. The other two quiet and Spencer rolls over to look at them. "Let him in, Jon, you know he can't sleep alone." Brendon's face is streaked with tears in the glow of the moonlight filtering into the room and Spencer just wants to hold him. He's fidgeting in place, wiping at his face with the back of his hands every time he sniffles.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon gives Spencer a look, lips thinned. "If he sleeps here every night, he's never going to learn to sleep in bed alone." Brendon whimpers and Spencer glares at Jon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jonathan Walker, you let him in this bed right now, or so help me," he says, voice rising slightly. Ryan lets out a snore as he shifts, and Spencer dials it back down. "I mean it," he says softly. Jon rolls his eyes and moves closer to Spencer so that Brendon can climb onto the bed and attach himself to Jon. Spencer sort of wants to reach out and take him, but Jon wraps his arms around Brendon and hugs him tight. He's whispering something, but Spencer can't hear it, so he just leans over and presses a kiss to Brendon's forehead, and Jon's mouth. "'night," he mumbles, turning and wrapping his arms around Ryan. Ryan snuffles at him sleepily, not waking up at all, and Spencer nuzzles his cheek while Jon and Brendon move to make themselves comfortable behind him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They wake again at some ungodly hour because Brendon apparently doesn't believe in sleeping until twelve anymore, which Spencer curses. Whatever. He stumbles his way through making breakfast--pancakes from a box--and bath time--with no extracurricular activities from Jon--and they get Ryan and Brendon set up out back, reading together. Ryan is still reading from Palahniuk, and Spencer really needs to get other books. Jon jingles the keys at him as soon as he shuts the door to the back yard.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer is a little nervous that, as soon as Jon starts up the truck, it's going to alert Brendon to their leaving, and send him running for the front of the house, but he doesn't. Ryan must have put him to sleep with his voice again or something, Spencer doesn't know. He's just glad he doesn't have to deal with a sad Brendon. Twice in one day is too much for him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ride to the store takes a while, since the cabin is in the middle of nowhere, but it's an uneventful ride. They head to a general store because they have lots of things they need to buy-things they don't want the weekly grocery drop-off guy to know they're getting. Things such as bubble bath and crayons and other children's' things that might lead to suspicion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They get to the super Wal-Mart--and Ryan needs to shut the fuck up, because it has good prices, okay?--and Spencer sends Jon off with a list and a stern warning to get the cheapest food items, even if it's store brand food. He goes off to the kid's section to look at books and toys and things. They are on a budget. Or, well, not really. But Spencer loves making budgets. So they're on one. Jon's just lucky Spencer didn't clip out the coupons he saw in the paper the other day. He was sorely tempted to do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer picks out a few books he thinks Brendon will like--The Poky Little Puppy, Kittens with Mittens, other animal books that have nothing to do with deranged middle-aged men fighting imaginary people--and puts them in his little store basket. He then goes to the bath section and picks out rubber duckies, a tugboat and some plastic fish. Plus, the appropriate Mr. Bubble bubble bath and No Tears! shampoo and watermelon scented soap. He also maybe sneaks in a few stuffed teddy bears and a little soft little puppy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon finds him looking at footie pajamas with a sad look. Brendon can't fit into them, but Spencer thinks he'd look adorable in the one with little dinosaurs. He looks into the cart, but doesn't mention the gummy sharks or Cheez-its or the fact that Brendon's favourite juice is there twice, even though no one else drinks the stuff. Jon doesn't even look ashamed of himself for spoiling Brendon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adding his stuff to Jon's, they head off to the check-out, even though Spencer gets stuck trying to decide whether Brendon would like the Dora colouring book or the Spider-Man one. He gets both, along with some Care Bear / My Little Pony ones, a few sets of crayons.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk is about a billion years old, so she doesn't look at them like she recognizes them, but she totally coos at Spencer when she gets to the kid toys. It's a little disturbing when she tells them they look like a lovely couple, and how she's so glad to see same-sex couples raising babies nowadays. Spencer's glad to see people supporting it, but assuming he has a kid is a little much. Or maybe it's not as bizarre as he thinks, he has no fucking clue. It makes more sense than him buying toys for his adult band mate.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ride back to the cabin is just as quiet as the ride there, but Spencer spends it wondering how many of his friends have to go through one of their band mates acting like a child for some inexplicable reason. He's pretty sure Patrick Stump doesn't have to deal with this bullshit. Or, well, maybe he does. Jesus Christ.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Spencer shuts his door, he hears a shattering noise from the cabin. It makes his heart leap to his throat until he hears Ryan's voice from the open window telling Brendon, "stay right there, okay? I'm going to go get the vacuum" and Brendon's voice piping up, "okay!"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything's fine, but Spencer is a little worried, still, so he sets his bags on the ground and goes inside quickly, turning to the kitchen. When he sees Brendon hovering over a pile of glass, one piece already in his hands, his eyes go wide. "Brendon!" he shouts, and Brendon jumps, hand automatically clenching around the glass. Spencer watches in horror as blood starts to drip down from his hand and Brendon's eyes start to well up. "Brendon, Ryan just said not to touch it! Put it down! You know better! You fucking know better!" he shouts, going for Brendon to make him drop the glass.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon drops it and just starts to bawl, holding his dripping hand out and crying until his chest is heaving with each breath.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Spencer, what...?" Ryan comes in after him and Brendon rushes to him, hides behind Ryan and cries into the back of his pants. Spencer looks at Ryan, stricken.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was holding glass," he says, voice a whisper. Jon comes into the house, putting his bags down on the table and picking Brendon up with a soft grunt.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, hey, it's okay," he says softly, petting the back of Brendon's neck. "It's okay, Spencer's not mad at you. He didn't mean to yell, he was just worried. He's sorry, Bren, it's okay." His voice is soothing, and Brendon's cries die down until he's just sniffling, face pressed into Jon's neck. "Why don't you let Ryan take you to the bathroom to patch you up? That sound okay?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon looks up at him, then at his hand. "Hurts," he says softly, hand held away from their bodies. Spencer's heart clenches.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon nods and puts him back on his own two feet, and Ryan takes his uninjured hand in his. "I know it does, but Ryan will make it better, okay? I just need to talk to Spencer, and we'll clean this mess up." Brendon looks at him and nods, letting Ryan lead him back to the bathroom, still sniffling. Ryan throws them a look over his shoulder before he shuts the door.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer looks at the pile of glass, then at Jon. "Jon, Jon he was holding glass," he repeats, pointing to the piece that still has Brendon's blood on it. Oh, fuck, his blood.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon nods and walks over to fold Spencer into a hug. "It's okay, Spence, it's okay. He's okay," he says, just as soothing as he was to Brendon. Spencer struggles in his grip.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not okay, Jon! He knows better! He's not fucking stupid enough to do that!" he shouts, and Jon's arms get tighter around him.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, he doesn't know better, Spencer. Not like this. He wasn't thinking about it, and you scared him." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It finally hits Spencer, then, that it's not just a game. Brendon wouldn't have purposefully put himself in danger for a game. It's. It's something else. Brendon's taken Spencer yelling at him, before. He's taken them all yelling at him, before. But as soon as Spencer raised his voice, he just started to cry, and Spencer's never seen that. Never. No one’s yelling at Brendon had ever reduced him to such a quivering mass of tears. Spencer finally realizes what kind of trust Brendon is giving them--to make sure he's safe, and to take care of him when accidents happen. To try their best to make him happy. Fuck.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He deflates in Jon's arms, sagging against him and Jon backs up until he's pressed against a wall so that he can support them. Spencer idly realizes that the grocery bags are still on the ground outside the door, and he can hear murmurs and soft giggles from the bathroom. He wonders what Ryan is telling Brendon, then wonders how he didn't realize this sooner.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is Brendon's way of giving himself to them--in a way he never has, before. He doesn't really let them take care of him, overly much, even when he's hurting, inside or out. He likes to pretend to be strong and happy, even when they know it's not the truth. Now, by acting like a kid, he doesn't have to pretend. He can let his emotions out as they come. Spencer feels guilty, for not trying harder, for not realizing how badly Brendon needed someone to take care of him. He was just as fooled by the happy smile as the fucking outsiders Brendon puts it on for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's Spencer Smith, for fuck's sake. He takes care of everyone. Only, Brendon wasn't letting him. He should have pushed harder, whenever Brendon laughed it off. He buries his face in Jon's neck, because he could have tried harder. It's wet, and he remembers that Brendon was crying, and he feels so fucking awful.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, hey, look at me," Jon says, voice rumbling in his chest. Spencer shakes his head and Jon uses his fingers to lift Spencer's chin. "Hey, you gotta tell me what's going through your head, too, y'know. This isn't just about Brendon trusting us with himself. We have to learn to trust one another, too." And it sounds so corny, but Spencer knows it's true, Jon's right. How can they take care of Brendon if they don't trust each other?   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's my fault he got hurt," he says softly, biting his lip.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon presses a kiss to his mouth, making Spencer open up so he stops biting down. "Don't be stupid, Spence. It was an accident. You didn't know it was going to happen."   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer shakes his head, eyes downcast. "If I hadn't have yelled, he wouldn't have jumped and cut himself." Jon makes him look up again.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were worried. You can apologize to him after they get out of the bathroom, okay?" Spencer nods, miserable, and Jon moves so that Spencer's back is pressed against the wall instead of his own.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? Jon, not now," he hisses as soon as Jon starts to kiss his neck. Jon looks up at him, brows quirked.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why not? You're sad. I don't like it when you're sad." Spencer frowns at him but Jon ignores him, sliding down to his knees and undoing Spencer's belt and zip, pulling his pants and boxers down enough to uncover his cock. He's not hard, but Jon doesn't seem to mind; he sucks on the head until Spencer starts to squirm and whine a bit, cock hardening under Jon's clever tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer presses his head back against the wall, hands lifting to Jon's shoulder as he pants. Jon is taking his time to use all the tricks he's learned, and Spencer is just trying to be quiet. He can still hear the whispers and giggles from the bathroom, but they make his hips twitch up for some reason. Jon grins up at him, lips stretched, red and split-slick. He drags himself off of Spencer only long enough to coat two fingers in spit. Spencer can't even watch as Jon nudges behind his balls and circles one finger around his ass before pushing just the tip in. It makes his hips twist again, trying to fuck into Jon's mouth, but Jon's other hand is keeping him against the wall.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finally slides the finger in, automatically pressing against Spencer's prostate, and Spencer bites his lip to keep his moan in. He can feel the heat pooling in his stomach as Jon presses the second finger in, using both to rub against his prostate. Jon pulls back so that only the head of Spencer's cock is in his mouth, and he sucks hard, twisting his fingers inside Spencer.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer lets out a muffled cry as he comes, hips lifting off the wall and Jon lets him. He swallows it, stroking Spencer through his orgasm until he twitches back from the overstimulation. He lets Spencer's cock slip out of his mouth with a wet pop and presses his forehead against the crease of his hip.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want me to...?" Spencer asks softly. Jon shakes his head.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's go see how Brendon is."   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tucks himself away as Jon composes and adjusts himself. They go to the bathroom, Jon holding Spencer's hand and leading him forward. It's a parody of the way Ryan handled Brendon, before. When Jon knocks on the door, Ryan pokes his head out, giving them a raised brow. Spencer rolls his eyes.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can we see Brendon?" he asks, trying to look over Ryan's shoulder. Ryan pokes his head back in.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can they come see you?" he asks and Brendon chirps a "yes!" so Ryan opens the door all the way. Spencer pushes past Jon and Ryan and smiles as soon as he sees Brendon. He's sitting on the counter, hand wrapped in gauze and medical tape, and grinning his head off, feet kicking against the cabinets. Spencer hesitates for only a second before throwing his arms around Brendon, holding him tight.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was just really worried. Forgive me?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon pulls back and smiles, delighted. He presses a kiss to Spencer's nose and Spencer smiles back. "Forgiven," Brendon says happily, wrapping his uninjured arm around Spencer's neck. "Kiss it better? Ry's kisses only make it half better," he whispers so that only Spencer can hear.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans down and kisses all over Brendon's bandages. "All better," he says softly and Brendon beams.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bath time now?" Brendon asks, and it's the first time Spencer actually takes a step back to look him over. He's covered in dirt, and the bridge of his nose is the shade of red that warns for peeling and the need of aloe Vera. He'll probably end up freckling, too.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer smiles and nods. "Bath time. You wanna see what Jon and I got for your bath time?" he asks, and Brendon nods, grinning wide. He bounces like he wants to clap his hands but knows it'll hurt if he does it. Spencer looks over to ask Jon to get them, but he and Ryan are already making their way back into the bathroom, bags in hand. Brendon looks at them with great interest.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Want, want," Brendon says, making grabby hands at the bags. He winces slightly when he clenches his injured hand, but he only pouts a little bit instead of crying. Spencer smiles at the sight.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Clothes off, first, then into the bath tub. Make sure you don't get the bandages wet," he says, going to the tub to turn it on and stopper it up. When he turns around, he sees Ryan helping Brendon out of his clothes because he can't do it one-handed. Brendon beams at him when he's finally naked and Spencer steps to the side so Brendon can get in. He keeps one arm hanging out of the bathtub and looks at Jon intently. Jon leans over and pours some Mr. Bubble into the tub, gaining a laugh of delight from Brendon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bubbles!" he shouts, spazzily. Ryan rolls his eyes, because Brendon's already had bubbles. But his bubble bath isn't for playing around in. He digs around in the bag he's holding until he brings out the duckies, fish and tug boat. Brendon holds out his hand for each one and places them in the water with such gravity that Spencer can't help but snort out a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer sits down on the floor next to the bathtub and tickles Brendon's wrist. Brendon laughs and flicks water at him before starting a one-handed adventure with his ducks and fishes and tug boat. Spencer listens very attentively whenever Brendon has to pause to describe and explain some aspect of the adventure. Underwater adventures are serious business. Plus, Brendon looks adorable, frowning as he makes two of the ducks squabble.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bath time passes quickly enough, even though Brendon looks sad to leave his toys on the tub floor for his next bath. Spencer has to remember to move them, or else Ryan won't notice and will trip and break his precious little neck. Then where would they be? Minus one absentminded lyricist. That wouldn't do. Spencer dries Brendon off with a giant fluffy towel and Brendon yawns loudly, so Spencer dresses him in his soft worn plaid pants and puts him down for a nap, reading him The Poky Little Puppy Until Brendon falls asleep with a tiny smile on his mouth.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits down on the couch, exhausted, ignoring the way Ryan and Jon are making out with one another. He falls asleep to the sounds of Jon and Ryan moaning, wondering if they're being loud enough to wake Brendon up.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he wakes up later, it's darker outside, and Brendon is curled in his lap, watching Dora on the TV with the volume down low. Spencer doesn't move much, just repositions Brendon so his limbs won't fall asleep. Brendon doesn't pay him any mind and they watch the episode together quietly.    </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spencer wakes up to Brendon hovering over him, stuffed bear clutched tightly to his chest. He blinks owlishly up at Brendon. "Yes?" he asks, voice still scratchy from sleep. Brendon bites his lip before holding his bear out solemnly. Spencer briefly eyes the bandages, but they aren't red. He takes the bear and holds it to his own chest. "Why are you giving me this?" Brendon smiles a bit.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Freddie. For you." It doesn't really explain much, but Spencer nods, smiles back. Brendon's grin widens and he buries his face in Spencer's neck, bear squished between them. Spencer is content to lie like that for a while.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon finally gets them all up--they'd just taken to sleeping in Ryan's bed, because no matter how often they all started out in their own, they always ended up in his--at around ten, and shuffles them to the kitchen. Ryan is again more zombie than person, so he just sits eyeing his coffee darkly. Jon makes them all eggs and toast and fruit slices, and Brendon keeps looking at Spencer, then handing him a piece of food, always saying "for you." After his second mug of coffee, Ryan starts to snicker each time it happens. Spencer ignores him and thanks Brendon for each thing before eating it. If he doesn't, Brendon stares at him with a wobbly bottom lip, so Spencer eats all of it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer is confused, of course, as to why Brendon keeps giving him thing. He does it while they're all colouring, handing Spencer a crayon and saying "for you" while he watches Spencer colour in a Carebear. Ryan is going all out with his My Little Pony page, and Jon is drawing cats all over a blank piece of paper. Brendon had long ago abandoned his Dora picture to help Spencer with his. Spencer colours with every crayon Brendon gives him, even if it makes his picture look like someone on acid coloured it.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Brendon goes to the restroom, Spencer turns on Ryan and demands an explanation for his snickering. Ryan rolls his eyes, smirk planted firmly on his face. "Dude, calm the fuck down. He's going through a phase. Remember when you were six and you kept giving your mom random shit and I made fun of you? Yeah. It's pretty much exactly like that." Ryan laughs at the face Spencer makes at that.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan disappears for ten minutes and when he comes back, he offers to take Brendon out to enjoy nature for a while. Spencer eyes them from the kitchen window, suspicious of Ryan's intent. He's pretty sure Ryan smoked up in Jon's bedroom while he was gone. He better not do anything stupid. Spencer starts dinner while they're outside, pausing only when Brendon rushes in, hands cupped together.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look, Spence, look, look!" he shouts, shoving his hands up in Spencer's face and opening them just enough for Spencer to see the ladybug trapped there. "Look! A funny bug!" Brendon crows, opening his hands all the way so he can see it, too. The ladybug sits on his palm for a second before taking the opportunity to fly away, going off to live somewhere in the cabin. Brendon's face falls for a second before he takes a rock out of his pocket and presents it to Spencer. "For you." Spencer takes it and admires it for Brendon and Brendon goes back outside, smiling.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets done with dinner--some sort of roast thing, he hopes he made it right--and goes to the door to the backyard. "Dinner, c'mon!" he shouts, and Ryan looks back at him from the grass he's lazily sprawling across. Brendon's down by the lake and his head pops up, looking back at the cabin. Spencer can imagine the smile on his face and it makes him smile back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan gets off his lazy ass and ambles into the house, pressing a sloppy kiss to Spencer's cheek. Spencer wonders if he smoked outside, too, because no way his high could last that long. He better not have been smoking up near Brendon...  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Brendon comes up, he's holding something behind his back. Spence hopes it isn't something else living. Brendon stands on the threshold, toeing the ground almost shyly before presenting Spencer with ragweed and a small smile.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For you," he says softly, and Spencer takes them, even though they're already making his eyes water, and he can feel his throat crawling.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, Brendon," he says, voice scratchy. He presses a kiss to Brendon's forehead and goes back to the kitchen to get a tall cup. "Jon, please wash Brendon's hands! And Ryan, bring dinner into the living room!" he shouts, this close to sneezing. Ryan looks at him and frowns.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aren't you aller--"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just move dinner, please." He puts the ragweed in the cup and fills it with water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day, when Spencer goes to the kitchen to make breakfast, the ragweed are gone, replaced by real flowers, but Brendon doesn't seem to notice. Spencer doesn't know who to thank for that, so he waits until Brendon's nap and gives Ryan and Jon both blowjobs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he's done, Ryan produces a joint from out of nowhere. Spencer eyes it warily. "I don't think I should do that. What if Brendon wakes up and needs me?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't say what if Brendon falls off the mountain if Spencer gets high, because it could happen, but they'd probably laugh at him.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan rolls his eyes, takes a hit and presses his mouth to Spencer's, forcing the smoke in. He keeps doing it until Spencer is pleasantly high, lax against the couch. Unfortunately, once the high hits his brain, he gets worried.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What if that ladybug eats Brendon, you guys?" he asks, looking around. He can see Ryan's eyes widen with laughter and he looks around, too. "Shit, it's in the cabin. What if it like, grows to the size of a car from our smoke and tries to eat all of us?" Spencer continues.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears Brendon wandering out of his room, and he sits up, eyes wild. "Holy shit, blow away from him! Open a window! Wait, don't! That ladybug might have friends!" Ryan is on the floor laughing when Brendon finally walks in, rubbing his eyes and yawning.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon looks at Ryan and says, sleepily, "huh?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan keeps laughing but pauses to say, "oh, Spencer's just being funny. He's so funny, isn't he, Bren?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at Spencer, who's waving the smoke from Jon's joint away from the couch frantically, Brendon gives him a speculative glance. "He's pretty, too," he tells Ryan, nodding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon cracks up, and leers at Spencer's ass in front of him. "Very pretty." Spencer is trying to smoke the joint quickly so it'll go away and won't give off anymore smoke, and he's waving his exhalations out away from Brendon.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the joint is gone, Spencer flops onto the couch, Ryan crowding him away so that he can sit by Jon. Brendon curls up against Spencer, reaches out to poke Ryan's elbow. "You smell funny," he says sleepily, and Spencer huffs out a laugh, then wonders quickly if he can give Brendon a contact high. He hopes not. Brendon stops poking Ryan when Jon leans over to pet his hair. He leans into the touch, and after a few minutes, slumps onto Spencer, passed out. Spencer is relieved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spencer isn't really awake. He's still in the place between sleep and wakefulness, and he's not really sure how it happened. He wants to go back to sleep, but a whisper tugs him into a groggy sense of awake. He blinks his eyes open, and it's not even morning yet; it's still dark in the room, except for the nightlight in the corner. He doesn't hear the whispering now, and he's just on the edge of sleep when he hears it again.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's okay," he hears Ryan say softly, and he's finally aware of Brendon wriggling in his arms a bit. He looks back, but Jon's still passed out. When he looks over Brendon's shoulder, he meets Ryan's eyes, but Ryan shakes his head minutely to signal he stay quiet. Spencer blinks at him a few times, still in a sleepy sort of stupor. What was okay? "It's okay, you're allowed to," Ryan whispers, leaning closer to Brendon so that he doesn't, Spencer assumes, wake Jon, too. He hears Brendon give a soft little whimper, and Spencer's attention suddenly snaps onto him, all sleep stupidness gone. He listens hard and, ah, there it was. A soft, wet noise coming from Brendon. Ryan's eyes are locked onto his crotch, giving it away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan doesn't take his eyes off of Brendon's moving hand--and Spencer can see it now, the way Brendon's got one hand angled down, the way his elbow moves jerkily back and forth in quick snaps--as he whispers, "there, that feels good, doesn't it? See? It's okay. You can keep doing that." Spencer looks down and notices Ryan's already tenting his pajama pants. Spencer can feel himself getting aroused, too, but he doesn't move. He's already pressed against Brendon's back, but Brendon doesn't mention it if he can feel Spencer against him.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please," Brendon breathes out brokenly, hand getting faster. The wet noises get louder and Spencer worries for a second that Jon will wake up, but it's not like Jon wouldn't enjoy it, so he doesn't worry too hard. Ryan's not flushing, but even in the dark, Spencer can see the blown pupils signaling his arousal.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please, what?" he whispers, voice low. Brendon whimpers softly.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Need," he says, and he sounds just the slightest bit worried, confused. Ryan takes pity on him and reaches to where Spencer can't see, and Brendon lets out a soft keen.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S'ok, I can help," Ryan murmurs, locking eyes with Spencer for a second before looking back down to what he's doing. Brendon comes and his back arches, hips pushing into Ryan's hand, panting while Ryan strokes him through it.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon moves closer to Ryan after he calms down a bit, and Spencer automatically misses his warmth. His cock especially does. "I can help," he parrots back to Ryan, pushing his hand down Ryan's pajama bottoms. Ryan hisses out when Brendon wraps his hand around him and starts to move. He has no sense of rhythm or finesse, but Spencer doesn't care.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nor does Ryan, if the grunts he's making are any indication. Ryan's hips shift, pushing his cock into Brendon's hand at a steady rhythm and Brendon makes a soft noise. That's what must push Ryan over the edge, because he groans softly and his hips go still. Brendon takes his hand out of Ryan's pants and looks down at it.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Messy?" he asks, and Ryan nods, still panting from his orgasm.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Clean up," he manages, and Brendon lifts his hand to his face. Spencer can hear him licking his fingers, and it's just obscene enough that he has to bite back a groan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck," a voice says hoarsely, and they all turn to see Jon, staring at them with wide eyes. "Thanks for waking me, assholes," he grumbles, looking over Spencer's shoulder to grin at Brendon and Ryan. Spencer shakes his head when he notices Jon hard against his ass. "Fuck that was fucking hot," Jon continues, palming Spencer's hip and using his thumb to rub circles. Spencer glares at him.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Language, Jon, Jesus." Ryan snorts and when Spencer turns to look, Brendon is staring at him with sleep-heavy eyes. "Time to go back to bed, Bren," he says softly and Brendon nods. He curls up to Spencer's front and closes his eyes. It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep, and Jon quickly works himself off. Ryan passes out soon after, and Spencer is left awake, staring at Brendon's face until Jon, and then finally he, passes out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jon wakes Spencer up with a morning handjob, and Spencer appreciates it, as he didn't get off the night before. They hear Brendon and a grumbling Ryan into the kitchen for breakfast. Brendon refuses to eat any of his breakfast--pancakes because Jon is amazing--and he pitches it to the floor. Jon's face gets stony and he tells Brendon to clean his mess up. Brendon stares at him with a scowl for a few seconds before taking the wet paper towel Spencer is holding out and cleans the syrupy mess off the floor.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan goes to his room to fuck around on his guitar. He's been a little quiet, and Spencer knows he's going to have to talk to him about it, soon. He hopes it has nothing to do with the Brendon situation. Spencer and Jon go onto the roof after they sit Brendon in front of the television to smoke up a bit. They don't talk much; just stare out at the forest surrounding them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they hear a shriek, they scramble down through Spencer's window and into Ryan's room. Ryan's guitar is unstrung and pages from his notebook are strewn across the floor. Ryan looks up at them, eyes wide, face white.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was on the phone with Pete for five minutes. What the fuck?" Jon gives Spencer a long look and stays with Ryan to restring his guitar right and to keep him from murdering Brendon. Spencer sighs, pushing a hand through his hair as he leaves Ryan's room.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon isn't in front of the television like he's supposed to be, and Spencer has a moment of sheer panic before he hears tuneless humming coming from outside. The sliding door to the backyard is wide open, letting flies in and Spencer shuts it after himself. Brendon is sitting on the ground, paints that Ryan thought were a good idea to get him next to his thigh. He's painting a messy mural on the side of the cabin. Spencer can see their security deposit going down the drain.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you think you're doing?" he asks, voice quiet. Brendon doesn't even look at him and Spencer snaps. He strides over to Brendon and grabs his wrist--glad it's the uninjured hand--and yanks it away from the wall. Brendon finally looks at him but he doesn't answer, just shrugs. "Did you mess with Ryan's stuff?" Spencer asks, patience wearing thin. Brendon shakes his head. "Even though Jon and I were on the roof and Ryan was on the phone and there's no one else in the cabin, you didn't do it, right?" Brendon shrugs again.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer stares down at Brendon, mouth firm, and Brendon just stares right back up at him, face blank. Knowing what he has to do, Spencer yanks Brendon back up, letting him get his bearing before pulling him into the house and slamming the sliding door shut after them. They go to Ryan's room, Brendon quiet and pliant behind him. Ryan is sitting on his bed, holding the ripped pages in his hands and just staring at them while Jon fixes his guitar. Jon looks up when they get in the room and glowers at Brendon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dropping Brendon's hand, Spencer goes to Ryan's side, and he and Jon stare at Brendon, standing in the middle of the room, hands still stained with paint, staring back at them. "You owe Ryan an apology, Brendon," Spencer says quietly. Brendon just shrugs and kicks his food against the ground. "Then you get a spanking," he says, when Brendon doesn't say anything. Brendon's eyes widen but his mouth is set in a firm line and he glares at Spencer. "Ryan? It was your stuff he messed up. He doesn't mention the cabin-side, because he's just going to have Brendon clean it.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan looks up finally and stares at Brendon. They haven't really done anything like this, before. But he gets a determined look and turns to face Brendon. "Come here." His voice leaves no room for argument and Brendon walks forward immediately. Jon stops messing with Ryan's guitar and sets it aside, watching them silently. Spencer moves to the vacant chair beside the bed. Ryan maneuvers Brendon until he's lying with his hips in Ryan's lap, ass pushed up, face buried in the comforter beside Ryan, pants pushed down to his knees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan lays into him with his hand and Brendon cries out and kicks and thrashes to get out of Ryan's grip, but Ryan is strong. Stronger than Brendon. So he keeps smacking him, hits harder every time Brendon moves, until Brendon starts to shake and he's crying into the comforter. Ryan smacks him five more times until Brendon is shuddering and shaking and grasping onto the comforter, hands in a death-grip, knuckles white from gripping so hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon is still quivering when Jon finally says something. "Are you sorry for what you did, Brendon?” he asks, voice devoid of any sympathy. Spencer doesn't think he's ever heard Jon sound like that, before.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon lifts his face from the comforter and it's splotchy red and wet from his crying. He glares at Jon and says, quietly, "fuck you." Spencer is surprised, shocked even. Brendon has never said that to one of them in that tone of voice, before. He wonders if what Ryan just did has pushed him out of trusting them, and he's back to being normal Brendon. But he bites his lip and looks a little worried after he's said it, so maybe not.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon's lips thin and he gets up, Brendon following his every move with his eyes. Ryan doesn't say anything when Jon takes Brendon's wrist and pulls him up from Ryan's lap. Spencer notices him wince when he walks, jostling his sore behind. He's not sure what Jon is going to do, so he follows as Jon leads Brendon to the bathroom. Jon doesn't let go of Brendon's wrist as he digs around under the sink and takes out a hand-wrapped bar of soap. Spencer stares at Jon in surprise.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jon...?" he says a bit hesitantly. Brendon is staring at the soap--some oat honey homemade blend a previous resident must have left. Jon doesn't answer him, just undoes the wrapping and wets the soap before holding it in front of Brendon's mouth.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you're going to have a dirty mouth, I'm going to wash it out. Open up." Spencer stares at the dripping boar and then back at Jon, mouth firmly shut. "Do you need another spanking? I'm sure Ryan wouldn't mind, and without your shorts on, either." Brendon opens his mouth automatically and Jon pushes the soap in. Brendon makes a face, but doesn't gag and heave like he's going to throw up. Jon makes him keep it in his mouth for thirty seconds before holding his hand out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon spits the soap into Jon's hand, then spits everything in his mouth into the sink. Jon turns the faucet on and Brendon rinses his mouth out for a few minutes while Jon puts the soap back in its packaging. When Brendon sits back, Jon turns the water off and stares at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go to Ryan's room and apologize for what you did." Brendon nods and walks slowly out of the bathroom to Ryan's room, shoulders hunched. Jon looks at Spencer after Brendon is out of sight. "What the hell?" Spencer shrugs.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon is quiet for the rest of the day, and eats his dinner completely, not begging for dessert after he's done. He stays away from Ryan and anything that's Ryan's, and he doesn't look Jon in the eye. He lets Spencer hold his hand when he takes a bath without adventures with his toys, but he doesn't talk back when Spencer talks to him. He even goes to bed early without fuss and doesn't immediately try to crawl into bed with them. Spencer puts Ryan in the middle and he and Jon curl around him while they all try to sleep after the tense day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next afternoon, Spencer wakes up in bed alone, for the first time in a few weeks. There's some crashing noise from the music room and he goes to investigate, rubbing at his eyes sleepily. Brendon is sitting in the corner, knees curled up to his chin, watching as Ryan smashes his favourite guitar against the wall and floor before throwing it down and going on his knees next to it. Jon is watching from behind Spencer's drums, camera in his hands but not doing anything with it.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ryan?"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing's fucking right," Ryan spits out, hands curling in his hair and tugging. Spencer walks over to him and puts his fingers over Ryan's, stopping him from pulling too hard. "I want to burn it alive," he says softly, waving at the guitar.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Spencer says, hauling Ryan up and into his arms. "We can do that." Ryan kicks out at the guitar one last time before Spencer leads him away, not looking back at Jon or Brendon. Jon knows to keep them entertained.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spend the day in Spencer's room, curled up with each other in bed, talking quietly through Ryan's frustrations with the album. Jon doesn't come looking for them, but Brendon pokes his head through the door once. He watches them without saying anything for a few seconds before disappearing again. Spencer can’t' go look for him, though, because Ryan is clutching his arms desperately, whispering about failure and incapability. Spencer smoothes his hair back and listens.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When dusk finally hits, Jon opens the door and says, "come on," softly. Brendon's already sitting outside and Ryan's guitar is lying on the grass in front of him. Ryan stares at it for a few moments before taking the lighter fluid and pouring it over the whole guitar. He flicks his lighter open and lights the instrument on fire. They all stand around it and Jon films, watching through the camera lens. Brendon sits down and brings his knees to his chin, watching unblinkingly and Spencer pats the top of his head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon goes straight to his room once the fire dies down, and the only thing left of the guitar is the metal. The smell of burnt polish and finish lingers outside, long after they go to Ryan's room and curl around him. Ryan stays quiet, but he seems calmer. Jon links his fingers with Spencer's, resting them over Ryan's hips. For some reason, Brendon stays in his bedroom all night, which makes that the second night in a row for that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they wake up, Spencer notices there's something different about the way Brendon hunches over when he eats the cereal Ryan pours him. He doesn't say thank you or try to offer any of it to anyone, and he keeps his feet tucked under his thighs, instead of kicking them against the chair like usual. Ryan is still withdrawn, but he isn't strung tight like he had been the previous day. He even lets Brendon randomly strum on Ryan's extra guitar while he's writing something down.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing Spencer does seems to make Brendon want to act like his normal self. Not even a marathon of Dora and Jon's super-cheesy-delicious-mac'n'cheese. And even before, Jon's mac'n'cheese always had Brendon delighted. He confers with his other two band mates, but they can't figure it out, either--Brendon just seems to be constantly thinking about something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They go to bed early, for lack of anything better to do; Brendon's behavior making everyone feel lethargic and melancholy. Even Jon can't bring himself to smoke up, mumbling about how it's going to harsh his high as soon as he looks at Brendon's little face. They barely even touch one another, which is something that hasn't happened since they got together. Brendon doesn't seek them for cuddling or a peck on the cheek or a ruffle of his hair and that makes them feel too awkward to touch each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Spencer wakes up, there's a note for him telling him to go to the music room. He's really too tired to go watch Ryan break down again, but he can't just leave them alone. He takes a detour to the kitchen first to find something to eat, and comes up with an orange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scene in the music room is much like the one days prior. Brendon is sitting in the corner, knees to his chin. Only, this time, Ryan is sitting with his spare guitar, picking away. Jon has his bass on his lap instead of his camera, and he's matching a counter-beat to Ryan's playing. Surprised, Spencer hands what's left of his orange to Brendon and goes to his kit. He doesn't know what they're playing, so he just holds his sticks in hand and waits.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryan hits a sharp note and it sounds off with what he'd played previously. He frowns, plays the note again and turns to Jon. "This isn't right. What should it be?" He plays the series of chords again, including the sharp and Jon taps his chin, holding his bass to his chest.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe a C, instead?" he suggests. Ryan plays it with the different chord, but it still doesn't sound right, even to Spencer. Ryan makes a disgusted face.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's wrong," Brendon mumbles, pushing himself up from the floor and going to Ryan's side. He moves Ryan's fingers to a different chord and presses down on them. "There. There." He goes back to his corner, curling up on himself more than before, looking at them with hesitance. Ryan looks at his fingers, then plays the progression of chords. He smiles, happy with the sound produced.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer sits up, stares at Brendon with surprise. Brendon doesn't look him in the eyes, but he does tap his fingers against his knees. He slants a glance at Spencer, finally, bites his lip, then looks away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spencer frowns, bats away the fingers insistently poking him in the stomach. "Stop't," he mumbles, voice gravelly with sleep. The fingers don't stop and he finally opens his eyes. Brendon is squatting next to the bed, staring at him with wide eyes, biting his bottom lip, looking sort of worried. "Wha? Wha's wrong?" he asks, sitting up and rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep from them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brendon worries his lip for another few moments before Spencer reaches out to tug it out from between his teeth. "Stop that," he says automatically and Brendon stares at him. "Brendon, what's wrong?" His voice is finally done being sleep-slow and rusted. Brendon tugs on his own hair and looks down. "Brendon?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it okay if sometimes I'm big again?" he asks, head bowed, voice soft. Spencer stares at him for a few seconds, startled into silence. Brendon peeks up at him, eyes worried, eyebrows drawn. "Spence?"   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spencer reaches out and drags Brendon onto the bed, rolling so that Brendon is in the middle, almost touching Ryan. Brendon makes a soft oomph and stares at him with wide eyes, confused. "Of course, Brendon. Of course." He holds Brendon closer to his chest. Brendon looks up at him, a shy smile spreading as he nods.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this fic was taken off the <a href="https://fobfics.tumblr.com/post/34177428707/okubyokitsunes-big-goddamn-masterlistpdf/"> Big God Damn Masterlist</a> you can use that link to download the pdf of almost 500 pages of bandom fic.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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